An Exercise in Irrelevance

Just got my first piece of skype spam…pretty novel.

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[17:10:38] Phil Lord says: ca va bien, et tu?
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Originally published on my old blog site.

What a pleasure it is to be back in America. ISMB and Toronto were good, but now I’ve moved onto higher things and am in Minniapolis for a flight change. I entered the US in Toronto (er…) having cleared immigration there; end up in the secondary examination room (where’s the vaseline?) having after first miserable enemy of humanity for an customs officer who didn’t want to point out that "index finger" meant the first finger. Well, it was early.

I should mention that the two customs people in the backroom, though, were polite, patient and efficient.

On the plane, I had a moment of panic when the announced the destination as "Twinchitty", somewhere I did not want to be. Turns out Minneapolis is known as "the twin cities".

Stopped in the airport for some noodles and tofu. They were alright but the caramel in the soy fused with the addititives to leave a nasty aftertaste. So I went in search of some fruit; the cloest I could get is some banana cake and a small (read vast) expresso.

America, America, Land of the Free, tra, le da.

Originally published on my old blog site.

Flying into Portland, it looks a really beautiful place. It’s got a hilly, dynamic, green and water-rich landscape. The city itself, after this, is a bit of a let down to be honest. We’re in the Benson Hotel — a local landmark the programme booklet tells me. It’s at the edge of the downtown district which is small, yet tall. Small is actually good, as it’s not far to get to one of the quieter backstreets where there is plenty of simple, cheap food. Heading North, the areas get slightly seedier (bar, then camping shop, then grocer, the full nude review theatre). After the vibrancy, relaxation and excitement of Toronto, it seems bucolic to say the least.

The Benson Hotel is nice, but somewhat tatty. They got all the frills — doormen outside, chandeliers, idiot guest at the front desk shouting out how badly he’s been treated. The guest room, however, shows that while the attention to detail is there, they have forgotten the basics. The glass in the window has integrated The window frames are dirty and are single glassed sash windows, making the room cold; the heating (which you need as a result) has only a "hotter, colder" thermostat so it takes ages to get it right. The furnishings are all grand but have clearly seen their better days.

I think that I have finally understood the difference between US and European cities. In Europe, evolution and economics has given us strangely organised functional parts of town, with roads randomly and chaotically scattered throughout. The US cities have incredible organised roads with the functions scattered randomly; facely buildings, next a brightly lit shop, next to a bar and then a parking lot ($7 all day — land is not expensive here). I guess Americans get as confused by our winding roads as we do by their building chaos.

Maybe I am being a bit negative here; perhaps it’s because I am being all sad and pathetic and not knowing anyone.

Originally published on my old blog site.